安静

今天很不想说话，一个人听歌麻醉自己更好。什么也不去想。
期待着这五年尽快过。我告诉过自己，当我离开新加玻的那一刻，我不会再往回头。这里伤心的事多过开心的事。没什么好留念。
没什么好写了。停笔！

Heartache !

U will never know how pain my heart is ......
U will never know how hard I'm breathing now ......
U will never know how sad I m ......
U will never know how much my tear flow out ......

I'm useless !
I wish these 5 years will b passing very fast !
I feel very embarrassing for my job !
It's because I'm not a good nurse ! I can't perform well .

Now I understand , without u , my world is not meaningful at all !
Unhappy ! Lonely ! Sad ! Fear !
Dear ! I miss u :(

It's not my day !

Can I say today is not my day ?! Upset......in my working area :(
Today the XX assigned me to work in the single site . And she knew that I'm so junior unable to handle it instead of she are the most senior 1 and never in-charge of that site . Luckily have 1 SSN be my runner and help me a lots.
Today when my CNE and I went to take blood for 1 patient from the CVL line and the blood spread all over the body . Sorry ! It's my fault . And in the early morning my finger get needle prick injury because I re-cap the insulin needle after I drawn out the insulin . My finger get bleeding for such a long period and I can't stop my work because of this . I just reinforced by using the plasters.
Come to another story , I really hate this XX , she again assigned me to check controlled drugs in the morning . U know what ? My patient have Oxycontin 10 mg BD to be served . In the Cd cupboard totally empty for this medicine . I need to spend my time to go down to pharmacy to take this medicine. Nobody to help me even is the s**ter.My tears almost dropped out .
They also discovered not enough staff nurse in the PM shift . So u know the XX force me to do for double shift . I strongly refused ! Cibai u ! U are the one to assigned me to do all the tough things but still want me to do double shift ! What the hell la u ! I be nice to u but u like to see me suffer .
Sorry to said that S****** also not understanding for my side . So many peoples talking to me in the same times how am I respond to u ? Arhhhhhh ! Nursing is not my career . I don't have enough patience to face for all these things ! Upset !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want everyday go back home with the stress . Everytime I need to stay back to completed my job,I get tired ! Fed up okay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Singapores' life 2011

For 1 year I never update my blog . Today tried and tried to open up , Yup ! I saw u Tan Kai Xin and you , Sook Yee ... Happy :)
My life here is suck ! I know it's my personality problem , I can't think positively . I miss KL , I miss my family , friends ...And , I miss him so much !!! I can't think away ! I miss every moments in KL .
My life here all about working . Wake up and go to work , after work go back and sleep . No friends here ! When I feel sad , stress , upset, I have no friend to express it out . How pain my heart is .
I hope these 5 years can be passing very fast ! I want to go back KL even S'pore are more peaceful and safety compare to KL . My tears are dropping out almost everyday .

Happy Mother's day

Haha ! unexpected I'm using my old dekstop in my room to online now . Not bad ! Still can use .
Today is mother's day . I woke up in early in the morning to watch drama until afternoon time . Mum asked me to go Sg Wang , but I don't want . I wonder why I don't like to go to shopping anymore . I think the last time I went to shopping was before chinese new year . Kai Xin called me in the afternoon , they thought I'm in Sg Wang and wanna meet me . Hiihiiii ! Long time no body called me out , so surprise !
Just now my family and I went for dinner together in Peggy's mum restaurant . Brother pay for this time , hahaha ! After that I just give a mother's day card to mum .
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS IN THE WORLD ^.^


Pinky :)

Meaningful day

Ya ~ Before you read my blog for today , you must read the article at above and tell yourself which 1 of situation are you come from and then keep it in your mind okay !
Today my classmate and I went to a very meaningful place , is a Hospice Center in Batu Arang , near Rawang area . Wow ! Quite far from KL . Each 1 of us have joined certain team . For myself , I joined the grooming group . What we need to do were helps them to cut their finger nails , cut their hair to make it short and comfortable . Wan Yii , Kai Xin , Candy and I were in-charges of cutting hair for them . Hahahahhaha !!!!!!!!! I helps a uncle to cut his hair , I think behind was looks quite okay for him , but the upper head still a bit long , I didn't cut for him , feel a bit guilty >.<...This is my first time to cut people's hair . Not bad gua I think :P Heeeeeeeehhh~ Everytimes dear dear will called me to stands beside of him and observe how the hairdresser cut hair for him , but I refused ! Pemalas betul !!! Haaaahhhh ! Now can't performed a good service for people . The hairdresser that I mentioned is ours best friend , Cyndi . Next time really must asked she to teach me how to cut hair ! Some more I can introduce to her that she can do some charity job free cut hair in hospice center and old folks' home . Yeahhhh ^^ So now , come back to the above article . I'm come from a unprefect family and make me growth up with some bad attitude . Hah ! I can't tell directly here because have some busy body will open my blogs and read this . Give me some times to learn how to set my blog in privancy . Or maybe you can post a comment or email to teach me okay ^^ I don't want some outsided reader are reading my blogs which I didn't add her/him as a friend . Hahahhaha ! I wish all the patients in hospice center can lived peacefully and happily . Appreciate for everyone , everything and everytime . Pinky :)

I ♥ my dear

I just have my dinner with my mum and uncle . Today uncle seen like unhappy . Is it because of me ? :|
Maybe sometimes I have a high demanding from others . I seek for prefect ! People and myself also will get tired with this type of attitude . And , I will always be thinking negative , these can make me feel upset , sad , disappointed ...... Sometimes I even think I'm so hopelessness in this world ! Hahaha ! Is it all these are signs and symptoms of depression ?!
My college final exam results were out . Many of my classmate sms to my tutor in charge , Ms Jan , to asked for the result . But , for me , I don't even to do this ! Ya ~ I'm not interested to know it . My OSCE result was damn bad , so I knew that I'm going to lag behind from others . My seniors are no more here , who will be really practice hard with me ? I think only Jessica . I'm not clever , I really need more practice , not only practice the skills by " talking " but not really practising . Everything were passed , fine ~ I already expected my results will be poor .
Let's talk some other things . Yesterday I went to Genting with my mum and uncle . This is my first time to went in the casino . Kiki ~ The security guards asked me for my IC , hahahahahah ! They don't believed that I already more than 18 years old or thought that I came from China ? Wahahahahhahahaha ~ :D Anywhere , it's fine . I didn't gambling . I just sat a site to watch singing shows . My mum and I had play some indoor games . And , we went in to the snow world house , it's actually very small , but it's cool , the temperature was -3 celsius . I damn happy to playing the snow with other peoples that I'm not really knew them . Until my hair become wet . We go back home at 12 midnight . Huuuuu ~ Very tired !
You know ? Some of the people thought I'm really a China girl . By the way , they looking at me one kind only . So weird ! I don't understand . I'm not a fair girl , my breasts not so big ,my eyes are not big enought , why they thought me as a China girl ? Especially when I'm going out with my dear >.<
I talked to my dear in phone for 1 hour just now . Actually my dear not really like me to go to disco or clubbing . Yerp ! For right now , I'm no more touching the beer or alcohol . So ..... my friends .... no need to ask me to go for clubbing okies ^^ I like my dear been keep control me for sometimes and some reason . I know you are right , dear :-* I'm a stubborn girl , so ... I will only listen or accept for a person perception if he / she are doing something reasonable .
Thanks dear , love you :)


Pinky :)